Yesterday I wrote four songs.
Sometimes, to silence the inner critic, you have to allow yourself to write "bad songs."
Now, I didn't set out to write bad songs, but I did write in a non-typical genre (for myself), so the self-imposed regulations were a little more lenient.
So, as I said, I wrote four songs yesterday.
And it was HARD.
I am on a variety of medications for depression and generalized anxiety disorder, and I recently started a new medication to affect my dopamine receptors, in the hopes of making me more "productive," and to give me a sense of accomplishment to reward my brain for doing things.
And... I have been more productive. I have also been making some more healthy lifestyle changes, so that could be helping, but I have definitely noticed an increase in my "desire" to do more unpleasant tasks... I only look at the dishes and groan once or twice before loading the dishwasher, instead of putting it off completely!
So I thought I'd test my "new found" motivation on songwriting.
Did I mention it was hard?
I fretted. I fussed. It took me all day.
I drank coffee. I drank tea. I snacked. I took a supplement. I sat down, looked at the blank page, got up and walked around outside. When I was notating the music on the computer, I took off my glasses and rubbed my temples, staving off the pending headache. I completely ignored housework -- I was trying to focus my... focusing... on music!
And it worked. I not only wrote the lyrics but also the melody/chord progressions for FOUR SONGS.
You guys, I haven't written a "solo" song in months. Echopod has been pretty productive with songwriting lately, but even our most recent song was a solid three-part effort from all of us in the band.
The last song I wrote for Hotel Gypsies was... well, okay I guess I did write a triplet of songs (maybe they come in bursts? or mayyyybe once I get rolling I need to keep up my momentum?!)... several months ago. You may have heard Kerouac Heroine, Last Peal of the Bells, or Down to the Water at one of our gigs lately. But that's been it.
I'm hoping to throw together a demo of these four songs for the classical crossover audience and put them up on Bandcamp soon as a fundraiser. Maybe they aren't the greatest songs (being written in one day, I'm sure they could stand revision). But I wrote them. And I'm proud of myself.
NEW SONGS:
After the Winter
Lioness
Empty (Overflow)
To Your Soul